Being grateful is being happy

After a difficult start this year and after finally recovering my health, spending two weeks in Italy with my family and friends seemed to me the perfect idea to recharge and to start again making plans about my life here in Almerίa.

Until yesterday, due to the COVID-19 pandemic, in Italy there were fairly strict rules regarding the movement and closure of restaurants and touristic places. Traveling was naturally more complicated too. I was forced to notice the negative effects of this situation on the people, especially from an emotional and psychological point of view.

Here in Spain, also as a result of my personal experiences, I lived maybe in a bubble. That's why I was so surprised to find myself into a world where the pandemic has become the main topic in conversations. I do not want to dwell on this aspect but on the contrary I would like to write a post of appreciation for all those things I have been able to do and which I have been able to enjoy despite the situation. Because I believe that controversy makes us dissatisfied while gratitude makes us happy.

Mostly I feel grateful for people. Coming home means above all to see many of the people I love again. My family, my grandchildren and lifelong friends with whom I have lived many experiences. With many of them I was able to share a warm hug, with others it was not possible but this did not take away importance or joy at the moment. I learned that, although in some cases the lack of physical contact can create some regret, not even the safety distance or a mask can take away our smile or prevent us from sharing the affection we have for each other. And I felt it.

It would be a lie if I didn't say that immediately in second place I feel great gratitude for good food! After almost three months of big difficulty in eating and a lot of worries, I fully recovered the functions of my digestive system, which now allows me to eat without problems and to enjoy my mother's good food, a little less healthy delivery food and above all to be able to cook a lot of cakes for everyone and then eat it with them. From today I will get back on track but oh how happy I am to be able to eat well again!

For the past two weeks, I've been back to sleep in my old room. An attic in which I "lived" for almost thirty years. Many things are still as they were when I left my parent's home to go living alone. There are still many of my clothes in the closet, my comics and some photos. Not to mention the wigs and cosplays popping up all over the place! And this brings you easily back thinking about the past.

And I can say I am grateful for my life. For the experiences, choices, mistakes, happy and hard times. Everything I have lived made me the person I am today and prepared me to face new challenges. Talking and remembering the past with the people who lived it with me fills me with gratitude. Above all, feeling the support, trust and affection that everyone gives me even from a distance and that when we meet again shorten the time and make us feel as if we had never said goodbye.

Least but not last, I am grateful that I have always remained true to myself. I'm not perfect, I'm not always cautious, sometimes I just shut myself up. But I still believe I am able to stop and evaluate and make decisions. To thank and apologize. To seek what is best and do it respecting myself and other people too. I came back with a clearer vision and a second chance to follow a dream.

The return trip was very long. Many hours of travel and many hours of waiting. But I love traveling and being impatient to arrive at our destination can ruin the whole adventure. Evening had already fallen yesterday, when we entered the Almeria's province by bus. I focused on the landscape outside the window to feel what I feel every time I come back here. Peace of mind, joy and a sweet sense of belonging. Apparently inexplicable but unequivocally real. Now I write with my eyes looking towards the sea that glows outside my window. And once again I feel grateful. To be exactly where I know I have to be.