I really wish someone could explain me why I'm watching all 5 seasons of Selling Sunset on Netflix for the third time, waiting for the next two to come out. If you don't know, we are talking about a reality show that shows the work of a real estate agency on the Sunset Boulevard in Los Angeles and many personal stories of its agents. All beautiful and successful girls, each with her own character, her dramas, some botox in the right place and with million-dollar properties to sell to rich people.
We all know what these series are for. To make us forget about our sad reality of just trying to make it to the end of the month and that we've probably been dressing in the same clothes on rotation for the last two or three years, while they never wear one more than once. And then I ask myself how the hell are they going to drive, walk around the city and stay all day in those super high stiletto heels?? It's really a miracle if I still wear them on Sunday morning to go to church, now that I have to go by bus!
Still, it's good to dream. I swear, I already know their stories by heart, but for some absurd reason I don't get tired of rewatching the episodes. Maybe because they make me want to put on my makeup and do my hair and go out and conquer the world! I used to go to the office too and try to make myself presentable every day, but since I've been working in a kitchen it seems like things have changed a bit. I hardly ever wear makeup, I always go out in sweatpants, comfortable shoes and often with the same shirt. I don't even flatten my hair that much anymore because I always have to keep it tied up under the kitchen cap anyway! So yes, it's nice to dream once in a while.
But in January a few things have changed. Due to low profits, the owners of GINOS decided to close the restaurant and I felt very disappointed. I was really sad I had to leave that place, the first job I had in Almeria, but above all it was sad to say goodbye to the group of friends it had created. Luckily I was offered a position in the kitchen of another restaurant run by the same company called VIPS. It's a kind of American-style gourmet fast food: hamburgers, sandwiches of various kinds, salads and other snacks and stuff like that. Initially I wasn't enthusiastic about it but I accepted because the place is very close to my house, I already knew many of the people who worked there and in the end the contract they offered me was good.
I've been working there since mid-February and I'm slowly learning all the things there are to do, which are certainly more than the ones at GINOS. Luckily the environment is really pleasant and professional, I get along with everyone and even if the rithm of work is higher, time goes by very quickly and I'm still able to organize the schedules very well, even for my second job at La Cuarta Planta, which is also going great! So even if the beginning of the year was a bit difficult, now things have stabilized and I can think about how I see myself in the future.
I admit that sometimes I miss the office job. I like cooking, it's always been my favorite hobby and I never get tired of thinking about recipes, buying books, watching shows or trying new things, it's something that makes me feel really happy and accomplished. But working in the kitchen of a fast food restaurant is not quite the same thing. So sometimes I stop to think on what I would really like to do. In this last month I have also received various job offers (at least 3), which however I refused because they did not fit my needs. This also helped me see that the opportunities are there if we look for them, my duty now is to understand which direction I want to take.
In the past I was a girl with big dreams, even on a professional level. But as the years go by and also thanks to the experiences I had recently, I realized that the things that really matter are not the money or the career. Obviously they are important and it is right to work and give your best to constantly improve your position, but at the same time today I value my time and peace of mind much more. What happened in January made me think and evaluate whether there could be better opportunities for me, perhaps in other sectors, or even returning to Italy. It doesn't have sense to deny it, in times of crisis it's right to look inside ourselves and evaluate all the opportunities. So maybe it's no coincidence that I'm so attracted to the characters of this docu-reality show, strong and independent women who, despite the drama, do a satisfying and profitable job, always remaining super sexy.
But if I came here to Spain it was never for work reasons. And I feel that this city still has a lot to give me. There are things I have to do, things I have to understand, experiences waiting for me and an incredible future yet to be discovered.
My personal, intimate and emotional journey in recent years is slowly but constantly changing me. In the hustle and bustle of our day to day lives, it's getting harder and harder to know ourselves and be truly authentic.
I don't want to limit myself in being a beautiful (almost) forty year old woman who appears happy in a reality show, in an Instagram story or in the idea that others may have made of me. I'm trying to discover my true nature, my true dreams, and just follow that path that makes me happy, and today I live a life that helps me make the changes I know that are necessary to achieve all of my rightful goals.
Soon I will have to leave to go to work and face a new shift in a kitchen that is becoming hotter and hotter with the arrival of the good season. But I did make up and dressed well to go out. I will do those few meters that separate me from my workplace walking proudly to then arrive and go back in being the normal and "rustic" girl I always am! But I thank God every day for giving me this great opportunity and for continually blessing and guiding me on a path that is just mine and no one else's. I look at the sea in the distance and the palm trees swaying in the wind and I feel happy and at peace.
I have the real "sunset" here in AlmerÃa and the best thing is that it's not for sale.
It's free and it's available for everyone.